Two wheeled carnival video

Been a bit AWOL this week, making a whole bunch of new videos. All shot with my phone so I apologise for all the missed calls as I can't film and phone at the same time!

Here is a little video that we made, some of you may recognise some of the scenery!

Woodland ride video

Romney Marsh, Emus, Napoleonic war, abandoned churches and a man with a cravat

The spirit of the two wheeled carnival is growing, so much so that one of our group (who is known for his outstanding organisation skills) suggested "doing something different". When he added "we will just have a rough plan and see what happens" we knew it was going to be a great ride.

The rough plan was to follow the Military Canal from Hythe and see where it takes us, that was it, how much trouble could we get into by following a canal?

The four of us arrived at Hythe in the stealthy black van with bikes and gear on board, the atmosphere was of a distinct military nature as not only were we following a military canal but we had parked alongside the live firing range of the British Army with a backing group of high velocity snipers practicing shooting things.

We soon spun along to the start of the route with a cheerful toot, toot from the little steam train that chugs across the marsh. Within five minutes we were being berated by a local for daring to share the same piece of the planet as hers at he same time she wanted to use it. We cheerfully greeted her and left her raging and bewildered and probably writing to the local paper as we speak.

The cycle path here is the standard issue of gritty shale type paths so beloved by local authorities with a bit of lottery cash to spend. What was not standard issue was the Emu on the right. Yes, I did say Emu, a full size, live Emu pecking about in the Kent countryside, something to do with the Port Lympne zoo we figured out, still an Emu!

The gritty trail soon petered out as no one expects people to ride more than about six miles so from here it was a bit of cheeky freestyle through the countryside aided by Garmin hi tech satellites.

What did we spot in the distance? Obelisk. A big one. Right up on the hill. Be rude not to go and have a look. A quick detour had us at the foot of a very impressive column of stone with a gold pointy bit at the top. It was literally in the middle of nowhere, just sitting there obelisking at no one in particular. It was erected in 1834 in memory of Sir William Cosway and has a pretty impressive view of the surrounding countryside.

Onwards and weaving through a gaggle of ramblers without incident we pick up the canal once more and push on through fields of skinhead sheep, long grass and errr sheep shit, which sticks to tyres like errrr sheep shit does.

Then... Portaloo. In the middle of a field near an old church. No houses. No people, Just a field, a church and a Portaloo. Unusual. Then... a Marquee. Something must be up, we are miles from anywhere in the most open and desolate spot deep on Romney Marsh, Why is there a Portaloo and a Marquee here? A bit further on we find enlightenment in the form of a charming old gentlemen who is wearing a cravat and cordoning off a portion of field. A quick conversation reveals  that this is the site of the annual raft race at Bonnington and this is the preparation for the big event taking place tomorrow. It is quite a star studded event by local standards as Julian Clarey and Paul O'Grady live nearby and both are due to attend. The day just gets more surreal.

With some helpful directions from our new found friend with the cravat we carry on alongside the canal, crossing fields of wheat instead of skinhead sheep.

From here we encounter the ever popular right of way that goes through someones garden. You know the type that buys a house with a right of way passing through their garden and then spends the ensuing decades making it look private and forbidding stressing themselves into a frenzy if anyone merely looks in the direction of the path. We crossed the garden past the beware of the dog signs, through 14 gates and chains (slight exaggeration) and safely out the other side.

Then we found the church... It looked like it was abandoned, the weeds outside were shoulder height and the gravestones had been absorbed by a mini New Romney rain forest. An abandoned church in the middle of nowhere, who would not want a bit of an explore?

The first door was locked, as was the second and third. A small door on the North side was worth a try. The handle turned and the door opened. I expected a flock of bats to fly out followed by a wide eyed wild haired woman with bony fingers and a scythe. What we found was a perfectly preserved, beautiful little church, complete with altar, pews and organ. Really, really unexpected, we respectfully had a quick look around and left, quite in awe of what we had just found. A quick bit of research revealed this to be the church at Snave, known as "the remote church" dating from the 13th century and declared redundant in 1984. It has since been maintained by the Romney Marsh Historic Churches Trust. Awesome church, just need to cut the grass a bit more.

A bit more Garmin assisted navigation led us across some bumpy wheat fields and onto some little lanes, where we caught and passed a guy riding what looked like his twelve year old daughter's bike. The surprising thing was he sped up and kept on our tail for about 2 or 3 miles. They breed them fit out there on the Marsh, must be all that fresh air and high winds or nuclear spider bites or something.

With the ride almost over it was a quick stop in Dymchurch for a bite to eat and a drink and then a  fast spin back to the van and civilisation. What more can you ask of a ride that gives you, live military target practice, angry woman, Emu, Obelisk, man with cravat, abandoned churches and a high speed pursuit by a man on a girl's bike - you could not make this stuff up! Thanks Gor, great suggestion, we should do more of this :)         

Zen and the art of Cycle Maintenance.

Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance is a book we have often discussed on our rides. Though not for a while now, but something happened last week that reminded me of that special problem solving approach you need when trying to identify mechanical misbehaviour.



Zen and the art of cycle maintenance.


Easy to diagnose a loose crank arm...it squeaks and rocks on the bottom bracket spindle when you jiggle it from side to side. I was a little agitated that I would round off the inside of my pedal arm so that it would never ever fit properly again. So I stopped at cycle shop mid ride for a running repair (kindly carried out for free) by a geezer in a cycle shop in Sandwich. I had tried to tighten it myself earlier in the day to find it was already tight? So I asked the geezer to take off the arm, clean up the faces and tighten it back on......no worries....went back on and it seemed nice and tight. But soon after continuing on home the noises increased and a baggy pedal arm got worse and worse. So much so that any thoughts of silver foil to pack out a 'little play' seemed hopeless. The gap in the pedal stroke felt as big as a missing tooth in your mouth. My colleagues kindly suggesting that hairy string and gaffer tape would make a handsome repair in keeping with the rest of the accessories on my bike. Which would not look out of place leaning against the milking shed in 3 inches of silage!  

I had resigned myself to having a confrontation with the supplier of this pedal arm, as it was brand new along with a whole transmission replacement. I took it into the shop and and explained what was wrong. He tried it on a handy bottom bracket and concluded nothing was wrong and the wear on the inside of the arm was in no way proportional to what I was describing. I don't think you need you need an arm at all. Put it back on your bike, and bring it back so we can see.

The long and short of it is.........is actually long. After hands on experiments the conclusion could only be that the bolt which tightens the arm to the spindle is a fraction too long. It tightens but hits the bottom of the threaded hole in the spindle just before firming up the arm, so your tightening sensation is there, but not onto the interface between crank arm and spindle! So a shorter bolt is now fitted and all that is required is a test ride? Haven't done that as yet, on my to do list.

ZEN like powers of perception required.... as a new pedal arm was a fag paper away from being purchased for only the problem to repeat again, as I would have used the same bolt to secure it. 
Robert Persig wrote the book and its sequel Lila, and I heartily recommend them both to this house, and my right honourable friends, who for the moment can keep their tape.

carniGor is now posting two wheeled love to the spinning masses

                                    Is this what you mean by a Two Wheeled Carnival of love?.

Well I seem to be the filling in the sandwich whilst Bazza was yet again trying to tell us that tubeless was the new way for the noughties.

Hmmmm well he was enjoying all the pumping as I seem to remember and we got to get a rest break every 20 yards.