Thursday 4 April 2013

Make a Bike Sculpture For A Herne Bay Festival!

Marcel Duchamp it might be argued is the Grandad of Modern Art! 

We could make a sculpture for this Festival!






1) Has anyone got an oxy acetylene torch and we could bend and bust stuff and put it back together in a slightly different order?

2) or we could make a bamboo bike with digarded XT parts, which are kept at the back of the shed somewhere.

3) possibly make something else, that is not a bike but was pretending to be a bike for the summer of 2013. 

any interest?

Thursday 14 February 2013

Geoff's Pilgrims - 2/3 March 2013

Geoff has suggested a bit of a different ride for a change - take the train to Gillingham and then ride back to Canterbury on the Pilgrim's Way.

Don't know how far that is or the exact route but it sounds interesting. Geoff has suggested either the 2nd or 3rd March so we have plenty of time to get in in people's diaries.

I am up for this, anyone else?

More info here

http://www.nationaltrail.co.uk/northdowns/gps.asp?PageId=85

Starting to ride again in 2013

This was me earlier today,  I really must get back out on the bike soon


Seems like I have had quite a long lay off from the rides lately, had a few other pressing matters to deal with which I am hoping are all sorted now :) Plus I am running out of excuses from the bumper book of errrrr excuses.

I have posted some rides up on the road ride for Saturday and the MTB rides for Sunday so we'll see if we can get some enthusiasm going again, let's see what shakes out.

I have also had some contact with the guys at Sketchy MTB, a local club that have offered the opportunity to ride with them if we would like so if we can't get regular numbers out for our MTB rides it may be worth looking at that.

May also be time to dust off those plans for the Eurostar day trip ride that we talked about last year, still a bit early in the year weather wise but if we get some dates then we can focus on things.

Anyone else have any ideas?




Tuesday 5 February 2013

Mountain Mayhem 2013 venue revealed!

Its at...... Gatcombe Park

From Singletrack/ Pat Adams

Essentially we’ve been nine years at Eastnor and it was getting difficult to find new trails there to give new experiences to the riders. With the weather we experienced there in 2012, we decided we definitely needed a change. I went on a quest, spent 26 days on the road visiting 20 odd other places between the Scottish Borders and south to Cambridgeshire looking for a new venue. Place, after place after place; all gagging to get us there but not one was suitable. We need a minimum of an eight mile course, plus camping of over 30 acres and an arena of over 12 acres plus good access, parking, water; that’s a tricky combination to find. All the northern people want us in the north and all the southern people want us to be in the south so it’s important to find somewhere in the middle.
We were invited by kind invitation of the Princess Royal to bring Wiggle Mountain Mayhem for 2013 to Gatcombe Park. It’s not open to the public, it’s her private house and there’s only one horse trials event held there. It is fabulous. The venue is on rock, a fine draining rock which is good, and the start/finish arena is at a high point which should guarantee it won’t get flooded, at the lowest point there is a river so with the course following the line of natural drainage we should be fine.
We have about seven and a half miles of trails that have been used for hunting and shooting plus mediaeval trails that we are allowed to use. We’re excited and our two course designers have spent several days there already, we’re just waiting now for some fine weather to dry it out to finalise the course. Expect lots of woods and lots of singletrack, there’s a lot of woodland there and we’re going to use it.
We’re excited by the new venue and we feel this is going to be a new and suitable challenge for Mountain Mayhem.

Monday 4 February 2013

Mobile phone conversations


People like to wander round shops, streets, public transport etc. having loud mobile phone conversations. This gave me a bit of an idea to collect single lines from the overheard conversation, completely out of context and then add them together and see if it makes any sense. If you want to add any yourselves drop them into the comment box and I will edit it together.

Here is my first line overheard from a large, important looking lady whilst shopping :

"My partner is a Freemason"
(Rob) "Not as nice as Chester but right nice"
"Wear something high fashion darling"
"He is pushing buttons again"

Stats from Sunday road ride

Stats from Sunday road ride, click on the picture to enlarge. The average speed is a bit out of whack as it included our rather lengthy cafe stop

Bringing video games to life

Had a great ride with Rob on Sunday (thanks Rob) amongst the talk of art and magic and fairies at the bottom of the garden that need feeding plus a thousand other subjects the topic of a French guy called Rémi Gaillard came up. I have been following Rémi on You Tube for a few years now but the gist of what he does is make videos that are both very funny and challenge social norms, here are a few of my favourites





Thursday 31 January 2013

Where does all the water go?

I have never seen so much standing water in our woods so rather than ride up there I went out with the dog and took some nice pictures instead. You can click on any of the pictures for full size perspective.

I think I will let it dry out a bit before riding up there.



This is one of the images above inverted, I like the effect.
Click on the picture for full size perspective

And the same image with colour removed and leaf space ship effect.
 Click on the picture for full size perspective


Rob and I followed the stream the other weekend but could not follow it far enough to see where it went, it disappeared under a fence and off into a field towards the bottom Calcot Hill.  The stream is at the bottom of the dip by the really boggy bit that we do when we link our woods with Rough Common, anyone know where it goes?

Wednesday 30 January 2013

Me and the Cav

My kids have become a bit of a whiz with Photoshop and put together this little piece. You can actually see the fear in Cav's eyes, he knows he is beat ;)

The eagle eyed amongst you may recognise the picture of me as from the Hell of the Ashdown back in 2010.

I may even get back on the bike one day soon!



Tax is taxing



Well that day has rolled round again and the self certification form fest that fills me with joy is due.

As usual I have turned the place upside down for those important documents that say clearly "do not destroy" and boxes and boxes of receipts and bills and stuff that I really should file more carefully, or at least put them in one place.

The miracle that is the internet has now allowed me to turn chaos into beautiful bureaucracy with only a few red cross errors flashing up to steer me on my way.

Anyway all filed and completed with one day to spare!!

Now where do I send the invoice for my pen pushing time today?

I bet I know one blog reader who has not done his yet, he still has all day tomorrow yet - you know who you are ;) 

 

Tuesday 29 January 2013

The world just got smaller



To further underline my total hypocrisy when I start raging against the evil capitalist system here is an example to show my evil credentials as a fully paid up member of the capitalist club and my blatant disregard for the environment in the pursuit of profit.

I am awaiting a shipment of goods from China and am having them air-freighted over using FedEx, on line tracking reveals their crazy journey:

A nice little van picks it up from the factory in JIAXING CN



The van drives to the airport and it gets put on a dirty great plane SHANGHAI CN

The dirty great plane flies over the Pacific Ocean and lands in MEMPHIS, TN



In Memphis it then gets put on another dirty great plane and flies to NEWARK, NJ

From New Jersey it goes on yet another dirty great plane and flies over the Atlantic Ocean and lands in STANSTED GB



It is currently resting in customs awaiting clearance

So what you say?

Well while the package is resting in customs I have just sold part of the consignment, destination - Tokyo...

So when it arrives here FedEx will pick it up and drive it back to Stanstead to do the journey again in reverse.



That is me, capitalist pig with no regard for the environment in the pursuit of the evil profit. I also rage against the machine when it suits - hypocrite of the highest order :)   
  

Saturday 26 January 2013

Roller Disco inferno baby



This morning I swapped two wheels for eight and went roller disco baby yeah!

Well actually I took the kids to the local roller skating rink which opened a couple of years ago. My youngest children are quite accomplished skaters and wanted dad to come along, what could possibly go wrong?

The last time that I strapped wheeled boots to my feet was well over a decade ago so to say I was a little rusty was a bit of an understatement.

I laced the boots up, so far so good.

I met an old friend of mine who is an ace skater - no pressure then

I made it to the edge of the rink, yay.

I made it round once

And then again

And again, this was fun.

It is amazing how age blunts the memory, simply skating around is such simple unadulterated fun I really should do it more, hey I am going to do it more, roller skating peleton anyone?


 

Thursday 24 January 2013

How many people read this blog?



How many people indeed... The answer is quite a few, not as many as the heady days of the old site but to be fair we don't have much content on here yet, here are some stats:

We started the blog in June 2012

  • Page views June 2012: 502
  • Page views July 2012: 394
  • Page views Aug 2012: 200
  • Page views Sept 2012: 68
  • Page views Oct 2012: 33
  • Page views Nov 2012: 263
  • Page views Dec 2012: 136
  • Page views Jan 2013: 247

Page views all time 1,843

The most viewed pages by far are, as you would expect, the ride pages and the picture pages which account for a round 1,000 of the page views with the remainder being split between the posts on the home pages.

The most popular posts?

  1. Carnigor is now posting on the Two wheeled carnival
  2. What is a two wheeled carnival of love
  3. How worn are these brake pads
I have no way of knowing who reads these but someone is somewhere.

What is quite interesting is the countries that we get visitors from

United Kingdom
1916
United States
71
Canada
44
Germany
13
Russia
12
Barbados
7
Poland
5
Sweden
5
Ukraine
4
India
3

Do we know anyone who has been to Barbados? ;)

Here are some more interesting stats

Since starting this blog I have covered 1,453 self propelled miles and burned 92,135 calories

950 miles on the road bike
290 miles on the mountain bike
213 miles on foot

Longest road ride 70.8 miles in on July 7th 2012 ( I am guessing Dover?)
Longest road duration 8hrs 07 mins July 7th 2012
Most road climb (during one ride total) 2,444ft

Longest MTB ride 27.5 miles June 16th 2012
Longest MTB duration 6hrs 12m June 27th 2012
Biggest elevation climb (during one ride total) 3,188ft Nov 18th 2012

Surely we can top this in 2013?
  
More stats soon stats fans, I love data me.



Where does all the wood go?



Passing through the gate at the end of Braggs Lane the other day I noticed the logging monsters were at it again ripping out more conifers from both sides of the path. Now I know we are used to this and can appreciate how quickly the wood recovers from the apparent devastation that only modern forestry can provide. We are regularly told by the BBC propaganda department that an area either the size of Wales or a football pitch is being removed daily from somewhere on the planet, I decided to try and find out where all the wood from our woods goes.



Being a bit of a daydreamer I liked to imagine that the conifers were dragged out of the forest and transported to some sunlit glen where artisans turn the raw material into beautiful furniture, log cabins and spoons for elves or something.

The cynic in me said it is more likely Ikea furniture.

The reality was a little different, what I did learn though was that most of the conifers were planted around 1960 and are ready for harvesting about now anyway, which kind of clouds the issue of turning the forest back to its natural broad leaved state. Was evil capitalism at play? Were the butterflies and ponies just a shield? Was this just a sinister plot to rape our forest of its riches and leave the people to be blinded to the real intention? Kind of like having an open cast forestry mine in our midst with zero complaints? What megalomaniac mastermind was behind this evil plot? We need answers people and we need them now!

Obviously when you pass into the underworld of the stinking belly of capitalism and start asking probing questions of the woodland people you are taking on a number of risks. Naturally my research had to be carried out in utmost secrecy and led me across many continents and split derivative secondary trade markets of Eastern Asia as well as the opium dens of Walderslade. I adopted many aliases and passports to keep myself safe from the organisation I now know as the Butterfly People.

Whisper it quietly as their secret is out, the Butterfly People, you know who they are, those that cover their activities with a logo containing a butterfly or a tree, a dragon fly or a small bird for they are evil, ruthless and dangerous.



Anyway, this is the shocking truth of where the wood goes from our beloved home lands:

The majority goes into the construction industry for roof trusses and timber

The second most common use packaging and pallets

The third is fencing and outdoor use

But the fourth and most sinister is described chillingly as "other"

Other as we know is where the butterfly people hide the truth, other is clubs for baby seals, other is the riot sticks used for oppression all over the world, other is for tooth picks for rich tax cheating plutocrats living in Monaco. Dear reader I put it to you that other is a code word for the real meaning and that is pure evil.

Logging monsters indeed...
    

Wednesday 23 January 2013

Strange things happen in the snow

I used to like to ride in the snow when I was younger and keener or perhaps more foolish, now if I see sub zero temps I like to sit indoors with Sky movies for company.

Being a couch potato is fine for a while but I needed some exercise so I have been dusting off the old walking boots and getting out and about in the snow.





I have visited all the high spots, (see previous blog entry) Leith Hill, Wye Crown, they really are spectacular in the winter and no one else is stupid enough to go up there in the snow so it is really quiet.

Anyway so far, nothing too strange... What I wanted to write about is the strange social change that takes place when it snows. I live in a fairly quiet residential area in a coastal town on the Kent coast, as soon as it snows the dynamic changes dramatically - we shift from quiet estate to teenage snow Armageddon!!

For the past two years we have had gangs of teenage hoodies numbering fifteen to twenty in number who take great delight in throwing snowballs at house windows or moving cars. We are not talking one or two "fun" snowballs being gently caressed against the windows, no, imagine a Gatling gun of teenagers hurling snowballs as hard as they can and then standing just out of reach ready to run should you be foolish enough to challenge them.

True to form I was stupid enough to challenge them, all twenty of them...

In a t shirt.

With no shoes on.

After initially turning me into a human snowball come ice sculpture and with a well aimed strike to my right testicle, which still hurts a bit to be fair, I decided to try and communicate with the kids and see if I could reason with them, maybe understand them.

Those of you that know me will remember that my previous attempts at this have generally ended with a 50% good outcome and a 50% bad outcome, good odds I thought.

I stunned them into stopping throwing snowballs at me by congratulating the testicle shot hurler and reached out to shake his hand - this really confused them.

I then actually had a really good conversation with them, they were between 15 & 16 yrs old, mostly from the area. none lived on the estate that I lived on but came here for the sport and the buzz of being chased. They said no one had ever come out to talk to them and that they really preferred being chased by angry people.

After about 15 mins the police turned up, obviously my concerned neighbors feared for my safety and called for Kent's finest (note all neighbours stayed safely indoors). Now this next bit I am really not making this up - the police cruised up to the kerb, buzzed down the window and said "are you the terminator?".

I calmly explained that I am not the terminator I am just a resident that came out to talk to the kids who were throwing snowballs as a community member. I said the kids were OK really just having some fun and everything was under control. They seemed happy with this and without getting out the car drove off.

We eventually ended the confrontation with an agreement that they would not bother us any more, they said I was "weird but alright" we shook hands and off they went, one even offered me a toke on his joint before he went.

Not saying this was the best way to handle things and it could have ended quite differently but not all hoodies are bad.             

High spots in the South of England

High spots, I am not talking about chemical induced nirvana, although one of my good riding friends seems to know an awful lot about that subject from his murky past. No, I am talking about the highest points on the landscape that we reside in, just how tall are they and where they are.

Considering that we call ourselves mountain bikers I thought we ought to find out...

A quick bit of online research reveals that the highest point in the South East is Leith Hill in Surrey Hills at 295m. Now it is good to know that many of us have ridden up and down this point a few times which kind of, lamely, enables us to call ourselves mountain bikers.



By comparison I think that the highest point within comfortable riding distance of us is the hills above Wye Kent on the North Downs which is 137m, please feel free to correct me if you know otherwise.



Those of us that have done the Hell of the Ashdown with the hills - Star, Toys and Ide all have elevations under 240m.
I decided to look further afield to see where larger hills lay, that if hills do lay as such, maybe they lurk or loom? Looking at the topography of the UK we have to travel quite a way to find anything significantly bigger than Leith Hill, Gloucestershire to be precise with Cleeve Hill at 330m.



Going all continental I looked over the channel to France to see if there were any significant lumps to go and climb nearer to home, but again the terrain still stays stubbornly below 300 mtrs until you reach Swiss Normandy (345mtrs) going further afield you need to get to the Bois de Baissey in Champagne Ardennes at 523 mtrs, which is still a fair old trek across France.


Obviously we have the well known mountain ranges to choose from for really big climbs but the purpose of this blog entry was to see what we could find nearby that is more challenging than Leith Hill, it appears unfortunately that the answer is there is not much over 300 metres, although 300 metres can still be a lot of fun of course. So to summarise - if we want more mountains, we need to move :)
  


Monday 14 January 2013

Jesus came to visit over the Christmas holidays

My long lost brother dropped in over Christmas for a flying visit, you can actually see his halo in the background ;)

Friday 11 January 2013

Mountain Mayhem 2013 reposting for Bazza ( I think)

New Year, New Date, New Location: Wiggle Mountain Mayhem Moves into a New Era!

Happy New Year!


Wiggle and Pacific Edge Events Limited are proud to announce (finally... yes, we know...) that there is a new date for your diaries for Wiggle Mountain Mayhem this year:


15th & 16th June 2013


Camping will be available from Friday 14th June 2013.


After many happy (and often muddy) years at Eastnor, we all felt that it was time for a change. Since the end of Mayhem last year we have searched the length and breadth of the UK tirelessly to find the perfect venue. That is no easy task. We want only the best for Wiggle Mountain Mayhem riders. Now in it's 16th year, we constantly strive to improve Mayhem for everyone. That is why we are really excited about our new venue. The only snag is we are sworn to secrecy about the exact location for a little while longer... BUT there are a few little nuggets we can tell you at this stage:


• it is completely virgin mountain bike territory - a private location never before used for cycling in any way


• the only way you will ever get to ride a mountain bike here is by entering Wiggle Mountain Mayhem


• it is less 40 miles from Eastnor


• our course designers are really excited to be able to bring you some fantastic mountain biking with well made forest tracks plus gravely rock structure and high organic content making the soil drain well.


Entries will go on live to download at midnight on Thursday 28th February 2013. First come, first served at Pat's house. Online entries will go live at midday on Friday 1st March 2013.


Keep checking out the website for more details.


Don't forget to like our Facebook page for up-to-the-minute updates, competitions and more.


We're so excited! We know it's been a while coming, but we're sure it's worth the wait.


Here's looking forward to a whole new era of Wiggle Mountain Mayhem. Make sure you're with us!


The Wiggle Mountain Mayhem Team"